Yep, they start by saying you are wrong. When you prove them they are Party Like It 1776 4th Of July George Washington Shirt it’s pity parade time. “Yeah you’re always right! I’m just so stupid and shitty! You are so much more clever than me!” Oh, this happened to me with my ex. I once mentioned that he had anger management issues and that blew up into a huge fight that I then had to try to resolve. And that i am weird and a pushover for not getting angry at people (i don’t typically get angry enough to yell and always think twice before saying anything, so i usually appear calm). He was also controlling and jealous and clingy. Holy fuck. This just triggered some ptsd. I just got out of this exact relationship. And I was deeply in love with her which is why I put up with it for so long. But fucking hell if she didn’t do exactly this anytime I tried to discuss anything I was unhappy about. I finally walked away about 3 weeks ago after a two year relationship. When I did, she went on FB and started calling me a narcissist (classic projection).
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Yes. One of the biggest fights we had was when he was driving and he tapped Party Like It 1776 4th Of July George Washington Shirt car in a parking lot. It apparently was MY fault that his foot was on the gas and his hands were on the wheel and that happened. Its their “curse” and somehow they are always right about really dumb shit, like how “maple season is in fall” even though his fiancée and I both had family with sugar shacks (oh Canada). Or that “birds are psychics cause no animal could avoid branches while weaving through them that fast. An ex had a legitimately shitty family. They made lovely scapegoats for all his problems. Not until we got married and I started getting the blame for some bizarre crap did I see the pattern. (I literally got screamed at because his co-workers, who I had never met, did not like him. It was so out there that I realized he had been crossing lines all along.) Abusers frequently were abused by their families. The key is to look for someone doing work to break the pattern. Just because the other party is wrong does not automatically make them right.
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