Ridiculous. I wouldn’t ask for 1500 from my best friend and we both make Cool I Dont Need Google My Wife Knows Everything Shirt where that wouldn’t be an issue. But like… no, that’s too much for something frivolous. Id give my best friend 1500 towards his moms surgery or some shit. Not for a stupid party. naming the kid declyn was the shining moment for me, when i realized this nosediving airplane was not only going to hit the ground, HARD, but was also loaded with equal parts plastic explosives & pure, undiluted shit I went to a wedding in NE Alabama in a trailer based church where the bride had Christmas lights wrapped around her head and in her veil. They were the kind with a green chord and were plugged in to an extension chord. A friend invited me as the bride was his cousin and promised it would be worth it because they were from the trashy side of the family. It did not disappoint. I halfway expected the wedding cake to be a can of spam with candy corn toppings. Hey, man. Say what you will, but that’s the definition of living your truth and being happy.
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Yeah, it was a friend I was in college theater with. His family was country even by Cool I Dont Need Google My Wife Knows Everything Shirt town NE Alabama standards. He promised me that this wedding would be great ppl watching. Neither of us expected what we got to witness though. My buddy had Tourette’s but a mild form and it was mostly non-verbal – more than exaggerated facial tics. He was convulsing in stifled laughs as was I. They had a little girl for the dress train except instead of a train, she followed and kept the light and extension cords from getting hung up on something. Could I technically afford to spend $1500 on someone else’s wedding? Yes. But I didn’t get to the point of being able to afford that by making stupid financial decisions like spending $1500 on someone else’s wedding. And I got married at the courthouse. And for sake of argument, if I was spending $1500 to go on vacation, the last thing I want is someone else deciding the destination and taking up all my time while I’m there. Fuck that. Exactly, if I’m gonna go somewhere like Aruba, it’s to get away from everybody, not to go to some entitled bitch’s dream wedding.
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