This is so poignant and thoughtful. At a time when Happiness Is An Old Man With A Beer And A Border Collie Shirt is as divided as ever, I’m glad that there are people like you in the world. This is an amazing list of what to teach. Now do you have any guidance for how to teach these things? E.g. building self-esteem without putting them on a pedestal seems like a balancing act. Hard disagree. It is HARD to be kind to someone who we feel does not deserve it – indeed it is our nature to either fit in with peers, or to break someone down to make ourselves feel better. Evidence of this is that you have to drill this into kids’ minds early. Trying your hardest at anything you do is not only “also OKAY”, it’s the bare minimum you can do. You don’t have to be the best at everything but not trying your best breeds mediocrity which is absolutely detrimental to the development of a child and has long-lasting consequences. This one is slippery. What do you mean by “human rights”? If not well-enough defined, it runs afoul of the rest of your statement. And they’re certainly not entitled to kindness. But they can do their best to earn mutual respect.
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I agree with teaching them to identify their Happiness Is An Old Man With A Beer And A Border Collie Shirt feelings, but don’t 100% agree with “teach them to talk about their own feelings”. Not that it’s always bad, but people are allowed to be upset and not want to talk about it. When I was a kid, I had a lot of Border Collie around me in the “good to talk about your feelings” camp but it mostly felt overbearing to me, my feeling was basically “I’m upset, let me be upset in peace, why do you respond to Border Collie being upset by haranguing me?” Or even when I was happy about something, and the same adults responded by again wanting me to talk about how I’m feeling my reaction was often “…and now you’ve taken all the air out of it and turned it into a homework assignment, thanks.” Teach them how to communicate constructively, encourage their hobbies and interests, build their self esteem in a positive way (do not put them on a pedestal! They will have trouble forming relationships) and help them manage their emotions. Spend time on education – not just their schoolwork, but teach them something every day. Don’t just rely on iPads and electronics to teach them.
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