I like to ask what people’s favorite food is. Even as a Abraham Drinkin 4th Of July Shirt non sequitur it’s a good conversation starter. Everyone has a favorite food, it’s innocent but very personal and there’s usually a story or insight into their background/culture behind it. I’m a therapist. In my first session with patients, my first question (after I go over paperwork with them) is “Where would you like to start?” I always get excited when I ask that, because I’m about to be invited into someone else’s inner world, and it is so profound and precious. Perfectly normal. I say something like “what made you reach out?” And that usually helps. I’m also fine with waiting while someone composes themselves or finds the words they need. I can usually tell when they need me to shut up and when they need some prompting. Depends on the purpose of getting to know them. If I want to know them well on a personal level & decide if I want to continue knowing them, I might ask something a little more personal like about past relationships or what they like to do for fun. Honestly though I often just pay a lot of attention to how they interact with me & others, and their answers to others.
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Okay, stick with me here: A friend of mine texted me “Hey, you Abraham Drinkin 4th Of July Shirt that porno where they eat the fruit loops out of the girls asshole? I think they put the milk in first, and I feel I am and justified in thinking this.” To that I responded “First of all, I don’t know that porno, and what the fuck. Second, why do you feel justified in thinking they put the milk in first?” His heroic response “Because man, you can’t pour a bunch of dry fruit loops in someone’s asshole! That would definitely cause some kind of cuts!” Okay when your right your right. As weak as it sounds, “What are the three things you most like to get asked about” is great in a pinch, because you can either delve into them, or why they’re such a favorite. Also lets the other person set the tone of the convo, whether light and surface, or deep and personal or anywhere in between. I don’t think i could possibly endure that answer. I’d either get up and leave or sink into the depths of my own anus.
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